After 25 years of marriage, I left my AH over 6 months ago, and have found MYSELF again. Unfortunately, even though my AH has hit rock bottom and has lost his family...he continues to find ways to feed his addiction. I found out that he is now buying Morphine. My heart breaks for him, but he can no longer be my problem. I have tried too many times...but my heart still breaks for him. I will not go back - moving forward with the divorce which can't come soon enough. I thought it would get better for him once he hit rock bottom; I thought all those times in counseling, NA, rehab, etc., would help him. Nothing has. It is very sad. I am afraid he is just going to be gone someday. I feel sad...but there is nothing more I can or should do. Twenty-five years is a long time with someone to just not care, but I can't care...I can't take care of him any longer...I have done too much for him already. I need to focus on moving forward, but every once in a while, i bump into someone who tells me how AH is doing, and it brings me right back to a very dark place that I don't want to be...but then I end up worrying about him all night. Does the cycle ever end? What's next heroin???
