Your life is not over, it is just beginning.
Congrats on your 30 days. I was there just as many of us have been. The emotional roller coaster is a B**** and it is hard to ride at times. This to, shall pass. It does slow to a crawl so we can get off and rest. During that resting time we can grab tools and support to help us when the ride comes back around.
I would suggest you look into a recovery program. I go to AA and I would not be were I am today if I had not reached out to the program and the people. There are many young people in AA and they are an inspiration to me and they have that effect on all of us more seasoned (pickled) alcoholics. I am 44 and I can not go back but I can move forward. My life is beginning too.
I can't waste my days wishing I could have gotten the moment of clarity when I was your age. Sadly there are many that have not gotten it yet or they have but drank that away too. I have personal experience watching it in my life, as it seems you have as well.
You may not feel happier now but you will. It sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things. Hang in there.
