Originally Posted by
SparkleKitty 
Boundaries were tough to wrap my head around at first. It's important to understand that they are in no way effective tools for controlling the addict's behavior, only for defining what we can and cannot live with -- and making decisions based upon that, not whatever the A is doing.
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Thank you for your post. Doesn't defining what we can and cannot live with
have a lot to do with what the A is doing? If he weren't drinking I wouldnt chose to act because a boundary had been broken. If he werent drinking I wouldnt have to have boundaries. I understand not to try to make him stop, because I get that that wont work anyways. I am definatley having a hard time wrapping my head around everything.