ELENI, thank! It's been hard, I have struggled with depression my whole life and yes I am on meds for bipolar depression and anxiety. I'm actually seeing my doctor witch is my primary doctor and my mental health doctor as well, he has me on a strick diet plan on eating heathly and so forth, and I'm seeing him now every 3 weeks just so he can keep his eye on me because he knows about my mental state and knows about my alcohal and drug abuse and he knows I'm sobar so he likes me checking in with him very often, and he is a great doctor! I love his support! I just can't help the way I feel, waking up every day crying and being this emotial can't be right! Can it? I want to drink so bad!! I really do but I know I can't! Because I know where it will lead me right back to... Im looking into meetings but iv been so busy with work but I NEED to make time. I think the depression is also coming from feeling alone because I'm a 21 yr old girl and I feel "my life is over" now that I'm sobar I won't be able to drink anymore while all my friends get to go out and have fun and get to be young and happy... But not me... Because I played with fire for the past 4 years that has gotten me into trouble and hurt my family, friends and myself. I don't want to be like my parents! I can't do it alone though!