Venting and not wanting to start a new thread.
It's been going "ok" with AS. He volunteered to do some yard work and did (steps in the right direction) but yesterday things kind of went south.
He was suppose to go to the college and talk with the Financial Advisors about any help for tuition/room/board. And he slept all day. Not good. So, we had a tough love talking with him, "Up to you..." "Responsible and accountable" etc. You know the drill. Unfortunately I was not disengaged, so he probably "heard" the anger more than the words.
Today, says he, our house is "toxic" and makes him want to use and he needs to get out he'd rather sleep in his car and why the heck won't we be co-signers on a loan.
Nope. Not co-signing. He's never paid me back. Ever.
Told him where he sleeps is his choice.
Sorry he feels we are "toxic" and so horrible.
I guess that is where it hurts and where my mind goes - where did we go wrong, what could we have done differently. When I step (way) back, I think we didn't go wrong except for not identifying any earlier that there is/was a problem. And it is hard to disengage, and not have those feelings. Going to my first NarAnon meeting on Thursday, and hope it helps.
Ug. And I am embarrassed to say that my mom is willing to co-sign the loan so he doesn't have to live at home. "He feels he should be on his own" (THEN HE NEEDS TO EARN THAT, NOT HAVE IT GIVEN TO HIM I tell her) This feels wrong on every level and I have asked her not to do this. Will need to have a sit down heart to heart tomorrow with her if it's not too late.
Just wanted to spill what was on my heart.