Never had to deal with cheating. Not certain I would. I would forgive for my own soul, but I doubt I would hang around. I look at it this way, our relationship was strained when he was in active addiction, he avoided me because he knew he used and knew I knew as well … I avoid him because of various reasons, including the fact that I started drinking and I remained faithful and I would expect the same. I really have a hard time with blaming a drug for cheating. But it’s how I view it all, I did nothing high I wouldn’t do straight … but I will change that now, only because I am much more healthier now then the time in which that applied. Tends to show me it is exactly how I think it is, that sick isn’t just about using and the drug is still a symptom of the disease.
And it terms of when he will share. It is an extremely long process and can be a slow one too. It took my husband a long time to talk, and by the time he did I had no real reason to know. But that a lot to do with the time I gave myself to work on me. Nothing was really about him anyway, he was just an easy distraction.
There are things I have not spoken of and won’t. They don’t involve him, or anyone really. It was ok to let those demons die a natural death without the need to share all the details. I think many have instances like that. Where you let go, move on from the pain.
It is a shame he wasn’t allowed to deal with where he screwed it all up. There is learning in that. He is capable, and really could have fixed his own mess.
His feeling will be all over, just as yours will. No pity parties for him ok. He will have to process it all, make amends, forgive himself and let it all go. Your process will be similar.
You would be very wise to take up the offer of some counseling. I hope you do.
In time you will get all the answers you need to make healthy decisions for yourself. Not so much the answers you want so make sure you are paying attention…
Take good care of You!