You are not alone my friend. I have a baby coming any day now and I'm pretty much flat broke half the time trying to play catch up and pay past due medical / insurance bills incurred during my last spree over a year ago... Not to mention my student debit which is almost 50k. Gulp.
So I have these same moments of total panic and I feel you on wanting to escape but we always come back to this same spot, only it's a little worse each time we give in right? Whatever happens, it will be worse if you don't stay sober. No one is coming to take you (or me) to jail today for being broke. It does suck but as Dee said, I have a home and I ate a meal today so I am doing better than many people in the world who don't even have those tiny comforts. And I will keep cleaning up my wreckage, financial and otherwise, until its gone if I just stay on this path.
You can too. Hang on. Just hang on...