Wellni haven't gone to a meeting yet. In the upcoming weeks I will be put into a court ordered inpatient program. I have been reading my ma book and talking to my wife who is also a recovering heroine addict. We have been clean the same amount of time and for us splitting up is not an option for us. But we have told each other that if we cannot stay clean together, we cannot be together. She is the love of my life and I do not want to **** this up. So awaiting being put into treatment I feel like I'm n a state of limbo.