Originally Posted by
EndGameNYC 
Hi Zad.
It's never a bad time to stop. I'll caution you, as I do with everyone in your position, that it's very difficult to do this on our own. Coming here and sharing your concerns is a good start. I hope this works for you. You may also find that you need additional support to stay sober, as is true for many of us.
Based on your "small town" comment, I don't know what's available or safe for you where you live, but I encourage to find support.
I get what you're saying that it's really tough on your own. I live in a small town in the middle of Ohio where everyone is tied to everyone. The more I think about it, I think my biggest concern with people knowing is that means they will know if I fail too... Right now nobody knows anything. I've stopped for a couple days a couple of different times, but I always turn back sooner or later... I'm scared to fail...