Ricky if you use you invite more madness and calamity in .
A fix fixes nothing, It is a delusion . Everyone sober lives with these emotions and deals with them , and in that i also mean those sober people who have never touched drink or drugs, they also deal with death , disease , finacial ruin ...
You can deal with this sober,
You can get help,
You can get support,
Rootin' for ya , m