Hang in there....using caused the ruin so using can't be part of the answer...it will just cause further ruin.
We don't keep the tire inflated with the nail that punctured it.
You have helped a lot of people at SR. I am sure you have helped a lot of people F2F. Time for you to ask people for your own help, maybe non-profit financial counseling agencies, cleric, family and friends, legal services...