Ricky, friend, look at what you just wrote: "My using has buried me financially," and then, "Using would calm my nerves a bit."
See the nasty cycle here? See your AV jump in at the end there, grab you by the ear, and try to drag your butt back to the mat?
Play it through, as Dee always says. So you are in a panic about your financial state, you use, you feel awesome/forget about it for X amount of time, you come down, you get even more panicky and anxious because the problem is still there and now you're coming down from the high and its side effects...see where I'm going with this? It will most definitely be worse.
Don't snowball stuff. I put myself in one hell of a pickle financially with drinking and ignoring responsibilities because I was drunk. I am almost out of that mess now because I dealt with one thing at a time. Sober. It is not perfect but at least it is now manageable. It is totally possible for you to do the same, I promise.
Don't use, my friend. Stay here with us. It will all be OK.
((Hugs))