Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
First of all, all that stuff about how you did this and you did that and you should have done such and such to "help" him is garbage. He drinks because he is an alcoholic, not because you did or did not do something.
This sentence should be made into a chant. When I quit smoking, I had to do this little mantra thing 60 times every day as part of the quitting effort. ("I hate 'em, I quit, I know I quit, I'm DONE, I'm free and I'm happy").
We could use that here as a mantra. "S/he drinks because s/he is an alcoholic, not because I did or did not do something." So simple, yet so hard for us to grasp.
Treeners, welcome. You'll find support here.