Hi. I identify too much with the above! For 2 years I played many head games about not drinking and being un disciplined succumbed within hours. Finally I put myself into the hands of what turned out to be my Higher Power, my friends in AA. During my insistent drinking I rejected the statement of being returned to sanity, to me it meant I'm insane. After about a week of being dry I recognized my repeated drinking expecting different results is MY insanity. BE WELL