Thanks so much for this and there is a lot of wisdom and insight in your post.
I had a similar omen somewhat related to the 'no contact,' except I realized I was creating the negative, haters around me. My drinking was turning formerly healthy, nice people into negative, angry, and confused people. I had to change or I was going to lose my wife and daughters.
I also "sort of" realized how much certain things in my childhood have affected me, especially being ignored. I go into an internal rage when someone doesn't pay attention to me, or talks over me, or doesn't take my advice, etc. I think I need to examine this a bit closer and try to work something out.