Originally Posted by
corockies 
I am losing my mind at this point. I was here, so proud, didn't post much and was sober for about 6 weeks.
Then with work I drank once at dinner and it exploded... I think I have been drunk at this point for about 3 weeks.
I had no idea it was this bad until today, when I had a random moment of clarity.
I am back in trouble, I guess, and I know I am going to want to drink just to feel better.
As far as losing my mind, I meant I just completely lied to everyone these past week to everyone about why I have been so sick. It's sick and I feel so bad........like I want to never talk to them again because I have created such a damn lie world.
I feel like I don't know left from right anymore. anyway, that is my stupid same old newbie rant
Chalk it up as a learning experience, and one most of us have to learn the hard way (like everything else apparently). You now know that no amount of time will ever make you the type who can have just one. You will always be an alcoholic and the only way to live right, is to just remove alcohol as something in your life. You cant have it, not now, not ever. Its not that bad once you accept that is the way it is. One drink will always bring you right back to where you are now, whether it be in 6 weeks or 6 years from now. Always remember that and you will do well in recovery. The only way to learn this is to try and fail, which is something I think we have all done. Dont beat yourself up, get back on the horse with your new knowledge and try again.