I have a fantastic wife so gd supportive , really more supportive than I even realised until truly and honestly talking with her during this week. This is longest I haven't drank in years.
In the last year I have said , alot of times, that I would slow down or stop. It didn't take very long for the apologies to ring hollow in both our ears.
I have also become aware of her view of my drinking from her perspective, and was surprised at her level of clarity of the whole situation. She told me of her conversation with her sister. She basically came to the conclusion that my drinking was my problem , if I continued to drink , she would be forced by circumstances to plan for the rest of her life without me.
Hearing that from her made me see that even though I was struggling to try and want to be quit and stay quit, I was thinking about it in terms of me. I was almost blind in my thinking of how much my choices would affect her choices, choices she would make with or without my input.
Not sure what I mean here , other than that we have to realise that stopping is paramount to our individual lives, but our actions in that regard are going to have consequences as to other's actions. Apologising for lapses or failures isn't really fair, it seems more an act we do to be free of the consequences of our behaviour.