Story,
I am sorry you are feeling angry and hurt again.
All that glitters isn't gold. When I separated from my husband, he was living the high life, literally. New clothes, out drinking every night, mutual friends (a couple people from church even), golfing, playing cards with the guys, nice restaurants, etc....
But one day i went to see him and I saw the pain and fear in his face. He put on a good outward act, but deep down he was miserable and I knew him too well that he couldn't hide it from me. I remember a moment of clarity when he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said "can I beat this (his addiction)".
It's all so sad.