New
Hi, I am new to this cite, I have joined a few others in the last couple of weeks and find they each have a different approach which I find refreshing. I am not an AA person and appreciate that you offer alternative views here, as wellas the traditional 12 step. We each must find our own path to success.
I am afraid of the the "not drinking me"as opposed to the "me not drinking."I tie it very closely to my ability to create. Being in the arts my idols were Bob Fosse, Betty Davis, Dorothy Parker, Noel Coward, Tallulah Bankhead etc. I always equated drinking and smoking (but I got rid of that 25 years ago) with wit, sophistication, creativity, and style. So it goes deeper in me then just an addiction. It was part of my persona.
Very few people I know think I have a problem, the few I have confided in told told me I was fine."You just like to have fun:" But what I have learned is that if YOU think you have a problem you have a problem. And "Fun" at 21 and "fun" at 51 dod not look the same.
That said I have been sober for 30 days today and am doing all right. I have forced myself to write every day both as a journal and creatively. I have started working on my plays for next year as well. But I am angry, cranky and weepy a lot of the time. And hungry! I have eaten many sweets but I do now.
Nora