Im giving up.....
A little back story, My AGF got a dui in april, went to 30 days of rehab in may, got out and was sober for 1 week, got drunk for a week, detoxed for a few days drank again etc etc. She has stopped going to AA, nothing in her life has changed since before rehab, except she now has more fancy words to throw around. I went to family week in rehab, drove to tennessee every weekend to visit, took care of her dog, house etc. When she was in rehab she was so clear and focused on what she wanted, but once out she went right back into her old habits.
I have been working al anon and my co dependant stuff but i am at my wits end. I wanted to hang in there with her and make a future. She is always saying "i love you", "i need you", i want to be your wife" etc. But she is still drinking daily, lying to me and disappearing for hours on end. Last week she stayed at her parents house for a few days and told me she had a terrible headache her face was going numb while she was detoxing.
I have been trying to detach and not doing that good of a job, but last night she comes over to my house and of course is drunk and passes out on my couch, another fun night in. I realize that she has been sneaking off at lunch drinking with another man and lying to me about all of it. I am not ok with my gf going out drinking with a guy and then lying about it and trying to make it my fault. She also told me that all of her problems were because of me??? The amount of lying is ridiculous.
I wanted to be that guy that hung in there and we made it out as a couple, but that is impossible. I dont trust her, i dont trust her around my children, i dont trust her around her own children. She was suicidal a few weeks ago and put a gun in her mouth. I have to get out and have made that decision today. I deserve to have some peace in my life, i cant keep living like this. All of this crap has really made me feel bad about myself as a man.
Sorry for the long rant but lesson learned, i knew i should have left her a long time ago but i stayed in the hopes that things could change.