I've already thought of something along the lines of what you suggest, and thank you for your words! All I ever wanted was for him to back off, a bit, so that he wasnt phoning every day, wanting me to take him somewhere, go do something with him, visit him, any number of things. If he'd back off to a phone call once or twice a week that'd be fine. Hubby and I often went to the local pub with him on a Sat. nite to see the live bands, and that was mostly fun, and if he got loaded he could either walk home or I'd drive him. Yes I see now that that was enabling him, but I didnt see it that way then. I thought I was just being nice by making sure he got home safely, like I'd do for anyone.
So, in the end I didnt get what I wanted, which was for him to back off a bit, he has apparently dumped me as a friend and I am now on his sh*t list. Oh well, what happens, happens!