I can remember around 18 months also feeling that way. I had to find out there were other issues besides not drinking. I hated being around happy people but, for a strange reason. I was afraid I'd be happy also. Might sound strange to some but, it had to do with not feeling I deserved to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be happy, just didn't think I should due to the things I'd done. Shame did a number on me. This is why on another thread some talk of sabotaging their recovery. Once I started catching that happy thing, I was uncomfortable and lost. If, you identify with this I suggest like others have getting things out. I was sober one time for 5 years. Always kept stuff inside. Sure at steps I'd come out with some stuff to make others happy. There was no way the real bad stuff was going to be exposed. I drank, and I stopped, I drank and I stopped. This time around I've turned myself inside out. Keep going on the 18 months, that is great. Might just be time to add a little more. Don W