stoopid guilt
My family of origin.and I mostly split last Easter we have kept a tepid polite "relationship" so that I can continue to be involved in my niece and nephews lives. I have made it clear that I do not feel like family to them, but I also will not be disrespectful I keep my lines clearly drawn. They are now flipping out because they are my"parents" and feel they should be at my surgery. The truth is my friend will be taking me and she is well aware of who they are and the games they pull, and I am not in the mood to ask myself nor her to put up with that while she does me a favor and I'm vulnerable. Realistically they will be perfectly pleasant but its a waspy unpleasantness derived from a search for power. I explained to them I do not want them there and have refused to tell them when or where it will be to protect myself. I told them I heard their opinion and have asked them to respect my choice if they want toshow they care. Last night it erupted with guilt flying every which way at me as I did my best to place it in the proper constructs of who they are and how they react.I'm well aware they care, but I am also well aware they are incapable of giving me what I need to have a loving healthy relationship with them.and quite honestly I have a right to recover in total peace!! Against my better knowledge I still feel guilty. Guess today is a good day to remind myself I need to focus on what's best for me. and by standing up for myself I have and that's something to be proud of!