Crap Day
In some sort of lousy emotional headspace. I don't want to drink, if I did I would likely kill myself...so I guess that's good news. The not wanting to drink. I'm not too sure how to do "lousy days". I guess today I am afraid that sobriety won't turn me into a normal, functioning adult. I feel like I don't know how to "do" life. I feel like a defiant teenager...self centered...who doesn't want to clean her room or pick up after herself. I feel like I don't know how to "function" like a regular person. I feel like I can't live up to my own friggin standards and that frightens me. I don't want to dislike myself the rest of my life. I'm so bloody tired of it. Sorry..I'm just venting. I don't seem to know what else to do with myself.