Originally Posted by
onceuponatime2 
AH is emotionally abusive and flys into rages over the least little thing. Literally, there are times I am just sitting there minding my own business, and he will fly into a rage and I have no idea what the problem is. This is while he is supposedly sober, at least I think he is. So, to say the least he is a dry drunk.
I am beginning to think he might have some sort of psychological disorder at this point.
I am the peace maker in the relationship. In the past, I have even appologized to "him" even if I don't feel they are my fault all for the sake of some peace until he once again decides that he is mad and it is all my fault. (I realize this is codependent and no longer do this) Honestly, I've found that it doesn't matter because he rages anyway. He was raging again today, and it just occurred to me that SOME PEOPLE DON'T WANT PEACE. Wow, how could I not see that before. I think this has been holding me back. I think I am afraid of his reaction if I leave. God, please give me courage.
I also did read your other post also, and yes, your H does have a tendency to violence.
My ex was a rager, or he would give me the silent treatment. Silent treatments lasted a really long time.
I gained a lot of information from him when he was raging. Yes, one of them was that he just wanted to fight. Probably if I wasn't around, he would have fought with himself, probably did.
I asked him why he got mad at me, if I was upset. Response was, I don't like for anyone to be upset with me.
A therapist had told him that was just pure manipulation.
I once tried to explain to him that if I was upset about something, I just really needed for him to listen to me, and that I can understand that we can agree to disagree, he had asked then, "well what is the fun in that, we wouldn't be fighting". I was just shocked and said, yes, we wouldn't be fighting, so what's wrong with that?
Some people do just like to fight, is this what you want to do? I didn't.
Oh, and all the responses about watching for your safety when you leave, is right on.
Mine didn't stalk me, or harass me when I left, he was afraid of the law, but you never know.
When you do leave, make sure that you are safe and he does not know where you are, even if you need to go to a DV shelter. I don't know your AH, so I can't predict what he will do, and even if you think you know your AH, you can't really predict it either.
Be careful, be safe
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))