Back to hell again
Drank on Friday evening out of pure boredom. Not trying to make an excuse, but there is really nothing going on for me now. Went to a gym, finished my work, and slammed about 3 liters of beer. Saturday was much, much worse. I called my friends (married couple) and they came over with a small kid. So we began eating and drinking, shared a case of 24 beers with a guy and they left at 9 pm. I thought - come on, it's too early to finish, went for another case and called escort. The worst part was I had no cash or a credit card with me, so we drank and I drived us to those friends to borrow $1000.
Was driving in a blackout. Thanks God I have not killed anyone or met cops! Showed up in friends' yard totally wasted, they refused to give me money if I don't give them the keys from my car. The prostitute was sitting in the car all that time. Was about to start a fight. They parked my car
and finally gave me the cash. We left for a night club which I don't remember at all. Drank more there, and left alone on autopilot. Don't remember a damn thing.
How many times should I hit the bottom? I drink because I have nothing to do, naturally very shy and tense. This tension accumulates every day and I drink to blow off the steam. Sounds like a lame excuse but it is still so.
Don't know what to do. Next time I won't be so lucky and will actually kill myself or someone else in drunk driving accident or a stupid fight. Now I'm here on my knees (on millionth time) and begging for help.