Crushing bouts of guilt and anxiety have been the morning norms as of the last months(at least, looking back it could be longer just glossed over ). I started searching net for causes, didn't realize it was onset or actual alcohol dependence.
1st time drinking as young teen I blacked out. As things progressed I would binge drink and black out most times. Went through periods of moderate drinking to near full time sobriety. But last years have been pretty much full blown binge drinking at 5 nights a wk, alone after wife turns in patio social drinking turns into get the whisky out. Most nights made it to bed before sun up and could function , not so lately. Too many nights passing out at computer and couch gave me up.
Firgured not buying full bottles would work, just beer. Too soon became beer with half pint or more again. Its two days no bourbon, did have a few beers yesterday and went to bed fine.
I'm just rambling but feel need to just say it, reading about withdrawl has scared the crap out of me.