Hi, welcome!
There's a word in AA lit that I think describes things well "common differences." I think it matters less whether any of us really understand each other except for on that common thread of having seen our lives harmed by alcohol/drugs and needing support to stay sober. Whether or not I could understand what you're going through is impossible to say, but if you're looking to get and stay sober then I can definitely understand you there.
As will most anyone here, so on that, welcome again to SR. Hope you find something you need here.