What are my character defects?
Egotistical I am an egotistical person. In my ego, I have though myself faultless, always blaming others for the shortcomings in my life. Never truly taking measure of who I am and the limitations of my own ability. I have been lazy. Thinking that I am so good at what I do, always leaving work to the last minute and inevitable falling behind because I am simply not as smart as I think I am. Always coming short, making promises I can not keep thinking that I am that good.
Arrogant I am always right, arent I? No. I am not. I only think I am. I always have an answer to everything. Always know better than others. I argue to no end, only to be right, never really learning anything. Never really participating in a truly enlightening discourse. I am better looking, faster, and more powerful than anyone. In my arrogance I can be stoned and still perform better than others. In reality I am not and can not do any of that.
Self centered I only think of my self. I do for others only to feel good about myself. I give, even when I do not want to, so others think I am a good person, when in reality I am selfish and self centered. I put up the pretense of a good person, thinking others do not see the true nature of my being for what it is.
dishonest I have lied, cheated, and stolen from friends and family to feed my own needs and addictions. I have made promises I have not kept, told lies to gain, and as a result caused much pain in those I claim to love and care for. Saddest of all, I have been dishonest with myself. Cheated myself on many opportunities; always, in my ego, blaming others, never recognizing my own part in the life I was leading.
lazy Always pretending to be busy, while being busy doing nothing. Always looking for the easy way out, spending endless hours chasing my own tail, never really making any progress. Never wanting to do the hard work required to get somewhere, never really given 100%, 100% of the time.
How they effected me?
All of these defects led me to never finish college, because I was lazy, and I thought I new better than my teachers. Led me to start business after business and never quite get any off the ground, making excuses like having a bad partner, or knowing more than the advice people were giving me, always blaming others for missed opportunities, to arrogant to admin it was my own laziness. Always giving up on job after job, never admitting that it was I getting board, always claiming that others did not know what they were doing, and unworthy of my time.
How to overcome them?
God, give me the strength to overcome these defects. Give me the wisdom to realize and recognize when the disease of ego, arrogance, and slothfulness, grip me; give me the power to break their bonds on my body, mind, and soul. Thank you for opening my eyes to the true nature of my being, and given me the opportunity to finally break free of these bonds. I am powerless, but with the help of those who have come before me I will learn, and through practice, patience, and prayer, I will overcome these inequities.
