I wish I didn't see sobriety in this light, but I often do :-( But I keep at it.
From the satirical news site, The Onion:
Former Addict Celebrates 10th Year Of Mind-Numbing Boredom
PHOENIX—Tom Stubbens, 44, a former heroin abuser, attended a party in his honor to celebrate a full decade of clean, sober, and dismally tedious living Tuesday. "The crazy gang of partiers I used to have so much fun with in the '90s wouldn't even recognize the clean and respectable person standing before you today," said Stubbens, raising an iced tea to friends at his regular evening haunt, the 36th Avenue Denny's. "Yup, but here I am... that person."
Stubbens then retired to his apartment, where he watered his plants, organized his sock drawer, and fell asleep on the couch
Former Addict Celebrates 10th Year Of Mind-Numbing Boredom | The Onion - America's Finest News Source