Having a tough day
So, as you may know, my BF slipped up big time (pain killers are his kryptonite), lost his job and has basically turned my entire life upside down in the matter of a week. Here's a few minor facts about him: He's 42 years old. Before he met me he was clean and sober for 5 years. His first slip up (that I'm aware of) was a little more than a year ago, while I was pregnant. At that time he started going back to meetings more and more. From then on there were times I suspected, and then confronted him about using. He told me he was "chipping". I didn't know what this was - but apparently he's just taking little bits off a pill at a time to get him through the day - but not every day.
Anyway, since he confessed about being fired on Sunday he has gone into complete meltdown mode, just shutting himself down, not even being able to answer questions like "have you eaten?" or "where is the extension chord?". That went on for about 2 days. The last 2 days, however, he has been a bit more receptive. I think he sees this as the last time he's going to be able to spend time with his son and participate in his daily routine for some time, so he's trying to take it all in. I have to admit, the tension in the house has really gone down the last couple of nights. It's almost been pleasant - with the exception of both of us knowing that he still needs to leave and get help ASAP.
Which brings us to today. Now, I haven't really participated in helping to find him a detox. He has a lot of friends that he has lived with, worked with, etc. that are all very familiar with the detoxes in our area. When my BF came out of his program the first time he started working in clinics and detoxes, eventually ending up at a shelter (for work) as well, so he is very familiar with how they work and the processes of getting in and even which ones are better than others. The problem, however, is that he has 4 different people, plus himself, and now me calling detoxes to get him into one and we cannot find a free bed anywhere. I actually had an argument with one guy who told me that $3500 for 7 days detox was an excellent deal and that pain killer withdrawal wouldn't kill him, so if he can't afford it he's just going to suck it up. I had some choice words for this fella... Could you be any more harsh?
Listen - maybe I'm naive. This is my first real go-round with all of this. I'm trying to look out for me and my son and get my BF out of the house and get him the help that he really freaking needs - and even wants! In the meantime, he's having a mental breakdown at home (thankfully I'm once again at work and our son is at daycare), but I think he's really reached his limit. He's telling me that he's shaking and throwing up and he's trying to pack a bag so that as soon as he hears from a place that can take him he can just go!
Did everyone decide to get off drugs at the same time? Why can't we find anywhere for him to go? I wish I had money to throw at him getting help - but I don't! I'm shocked that people other than Lindsay Lohan and that other girl who just went nuts are able to afford to do this! Especially after an addict clears out your freaking bank account buying his frickin pills!