It took me a long time to get past I was actually my problem and he wasn’t.
I mean in some rational sense, him using heroin ( hello that ain’t normal) made it easy to assign him as the sick one … but he wasn’t the only sick one here, that is for sure.
It takes time, more then needed at times because we all seem to have this need to overcomplicate it all. Maybe that is just some part of being human. And surely denial plays a part as well.
I really wish that it could be done and over for all of us, but it isn’t. The reality is that this will be a struggle for both of you, in your own way, on your own side of it all. The faster you can work just your side and to a degree you would like him to work on himself, then it will slowly become better. There is lots of learning, different stages and yet all the learning just prompts some more.
There are no promises for anyone but you here. The time you give to fix yourself, is where you need to stay focused, because you can’t fix him.
But getting healthy does have it’s own perks. Tends to be a gift to them, even if they aren’t capable of seeing it.