That’s part of feeding into our codieness….the begging, the pleading the announcing of dire love and change for us/the children the family….we love to hear those words, we tend to put all our faith into those words……and usually that’s about where it ends….in words….no actions on their part.
Glad you are going to al-anon, try not to have great expectations in the beginning, this is a journey for your recovery not a race. See if they have a book for sale (usually very cheap) called “ Courage to Change”. You’ll benefit a lot from this book.