In my case, I kept telling myself that I would quit tomorrow - always tomorrow - and then get might life together to show my wife the love she deserved and I felt. I repeatedly failed and felt depressed, and useless, and the alcohol kept me distant and numb. I was really too embarrassed to admit it it and ask for help.
The sad part is how quickly a bunch of tomorrows turn into years.
I wish my wife had been more assertive and demanding about the love and life she wanted and deserved; but it was likely my own actions that eventually undermined that possibility.