Hi Newlywed
I am so sorry for you. I come from the other side of the fence being a recovering alcoholic.
I recently split up from my fiance because of my addiction and just as importantly, the behaviours which came from my addiction. Lying, lack of self esteem, denial etc. etc. The fact is that until I got into AA and began to work my recovery, I couldn't even be honest with myself, let alone loved ones. I caused the situation and it's my responsibility. I spent ages trying to impose my will on her and never took time to really consider her needs. (I thought I did, but how the heck could I when I was so wrapped up in myself).
I know how much I still love her, but unless I work my recovery, that means nothing to her.
This is not your fault and you can't control your H's behaviour or his actions. He needs to want to change for himself. If he can grasp that fact and get into recovery, you guys stand a chance.
For now, stay strong and look after yourself.
Rich