"helps me see I'm not the only one that struggles with being real versus feigning superficiality for someone elses benefit."
Oh, yeah!! Thanks for putting it that way. Fake perky people drive me absolutely crazy, and I'm the last one to put on fake perky for anybody. Either I'm happy or I'm not, and it's my problem anyhow. I'm allowed my feelings as long as I don't take them out on anybody else, thank you very much!! I'm another one of those people who hates to be told to have a nice day, especially when I can tell it's just a b.s. line somebody's just saying because they're breathing out. I did discover a secret though, well, actually two. The first is that I did have this resentment floating around that how come everybody else on the entire planet could drink normally and I couldn't. That became particularly apparent when i realized i was pissy or at least not easily pleasant with grown-ups and totally relaxed and non-resentful of kids (non-drinking age kids). And the second one was that hey, I had the right to my feelings and happiness was included in that even if I wasn't drinking. Had to give myself permission to be happy. Sounds wierd, but then again, I'm pretty wierd!!