I became aware that I had a similar problem with my mother around the same age - but I was working and doing the best I could which is why ppl offerred to help me.
I wanted to make sure that I was separating me from her. From my situ from hers. And did recognize the differences. The problems she has are different from mine. I have offered what I 'can and she called again - I let her know that she has a home but has to help out. She did not respond to the offer and continued to complain about her father's choices and how others are willing to help.
My feelings of helplessness are met with her denial and so I will let go of the outcome. Why she calls I cannot figure - just hoping underneath it all she knows I am there for her and love her. My son reminds me that she is being naive about her father and unrealistic about life. He reassures me when I ask and tells me he doesnt understand her - he respects my decisions and me.
I hate this, I hate when she is in these situations, and I know it is part of her learning that I have to step aside. I just find it difficult because I care so much.