Kassie2

So, long story short version - get a call from my daughter ( who is in recovery and struggling through school ) that her father who said he would co sign her school loan - gets the paperwork and says NO! It will mess with his credit and he wants to buy a house with his girlfriend. I can't do it and try to encourage her to explore other options. But feel awful - I remember my AM not willing to help me and not willing to take me in at her age and I didn't have a problem - had to go live and depend on strangers.

My situation turned out ok after awhile. But her father has often promised things and then disappointed or said no and then undermines what i am doing. We are all adults now and I am trying to stay focused on supporting her emotionally. My memories of how I felt at her age are frustrating for me. The main difference is that she does have a place to go. I have offered several times knowing he was not renewing the apt and refusing to pay her rent - while she was not working but now is. She refuses my help but lets me know she is upset. How do I manage this one?

I dont want to focus on her father or her relationship with him as she has been seeing his limitations this past year - I just want to manage my relationship with her to the best of my ability and hers. I think I am concerned that she will either turn far away from me or try to force me to take care of her leaving nothing in between. I cannot control that choice but wonder how to manage my reaction and behavior.