Where to start. Lets deal with today. I have been in recovery for a year. I am still on suboxone so I'm not classified as clean. To me I am getting somewhere. I found this site due to having reoccurring dreams of not using but relapsing. I don't recall using I recall being so upset that I had and trying to get more. Knowing I was in that endless spiral again. I have a shitload of stress in my life right now and it may b adding to this situation. I just need some help. I am looking at going to jail over some f-ing fines in a few hours. I am a day late on my payment so unless I can produce almost four grand this morning, I'm screwed. I have a boy turning nine in a week and am so concerned with all this plus more that I have had very if any sleep these days. I live a good life now, we'll better. Haven't slipped once in a year. Now this stress I believe is causing these dreams. I know we all have them I just need some support. I don't wanna use and yes, thank god they are only dreams. I don't know where to turn. So I'm turning to u guys, so here I am. Hopefully when I attempt to pay the fines I'll b back online soon to let u all know.
I don't know what to do. Just one day of a non payment could change everything for me. Can't believe it. It's ok honest no one has to respond it probably helped just to talk now. I wanted to get in the forum but it says I have to do this. Thanks I have not used hard drugs in just over the year but have had a couple of joints. That's where I'm at.