Originally Posted by Kindeyes

Only someone who has experienced having someone they love in jail a number of times would find this has hysterically funny as it is. The sad reality is that in most cases those inmates are better able to advise them than we are.....they have the experience....we don't.

I've only tried to see my son once when he was in jail.....that was the first time (and it's a doozy of a story.....they wouldn't let me see him so I tried to tell them that I was his attorney......AFTER I had already told them that I was his mother.....that didn't work! lol)

Since that time, he has been incarcerated several times for short periods....He didn't call me, I didn't go to see him, I didn't write, he didn't write, I didn't try to call him, he didn't try to call me. I let him handle it. And he did just fine.

He knows I love him just like your son knows you love him. We don't need to prove it.....in fact, it was my constant need to prove I love him that was the crux of my codependent nature (MY addiction). He knew it and used it to manipulate me using my love as the weapon......

There are a lot of wise experienced people here, but this is your life and your son......we can't take responsibility for your decisions but we can share our own experience, strength and hope.

gentle hugs
ke