I am just trying to see it from the other side
Along those lines I am finding resonance in a common theme that RAs on this thread have mentioned - lack of trust. My exAH (child of an alcoholic himself) has deep, deep trust issues. Needless to say, that is poison within a marriage.
My anger is fading.
It is good to be able to let go of anger. I'll just say, and I mean this very gently as I know you are grieving the loss of a pregnancy, in my own painful experience, the task of trying to raise our lovely, innocent babies into healthy children with an active alcoholic father made me a very angry person, for a very long time. My oldest is in college and I am still working on the anger I feel on her and her brother's behalf. My daughter has been in counseling for a long time working on her anger issues around her father.