Interesting questions. Everyone is different. If I knew how to transmit my experience to make someone else sober--especially those alcoholics I've loved and still love--I would. But here are my answers.
1)What made you WANT to stop drinking?
I only wanted to stop drinking when I was coming out of horrible hangovers or suffering withdrawals. Otherwise, I never really wanted to stop drinking and I often forgot how bad the after effects were. It took a couple of years of being sober before I wanted never to drink again--and even then I have days where I would love to be able to have just a drink.
I did want to stop being in pain, though, and eventually it became clear that alcohol was causing more pain than it was alleviating.
2)What was the driving force(s) that motivated you to quit?
Life or death.
3)What was your "bottom"?
Don't know. Haven't reached it yet. I wasn't functional, didn't have a job, had moved back in with my parents, was in debt, had lost relationships and friends, my health was suffering and I was suicidal. And I still drank. I know I could still go lower though as when I quit I was thinking that maybe being a homeless drunk wouldn't be so bad since at least I could drink without anyone bothering me. Sad, but true. I didn't hit bottom so much as recognize the insanity of my life.
4)What made you decide that finally enough was enough?
Being drunk was as bad as being sober. I realized I was going to have to dedicate myself to sobriety or die of alcoholism.
5)If any of you struggled with having so much guilt or shame that you felt it was pointless to even try, or to care, what changed that thought process for you?
I don't know. The instinct to live is strong, I guess.
That, plus lots of AA meetings and hearing the message over and over. (I drank my way through years of meetings, but something got through eventually.)
6)Before you got sober, what were some of your biggest obstacles to overcome before you were in the right mindset to achieve sobriety?
I didn't think that people who drank like I did could stop.
7)Before you could admit to yourself or others that you were an alcoholic, what stopped you from accepting that truth?
I knew I was an alcoholic almost from my first drink. It was part of my identity for a good two decades. I was proud that I was an alcoholic, it was a badge of honor that I could drink so much and I never wanted to stop. The problem I faced was believing I could stop and also letting go of my identity and identifying as a sober person. For a long time I felt like a "goody two shoes" and I hated it. I was always a rebel and I'm a writer and alcoholism just seemed to fit in nicely with my view of myself. I had to realize that alcoholism wasn't my identity, it was an outside force that was killing me.
8)What did it feel like to be judged for being an alcoholic?
See above.
I never cared what the "normies" thought. Now I identify as a non-drinker. I only talk about my alcoholism with close friends, or in recovery circles. And I still don't generally care what people think.
9)How did you deal with enablers?
Not sure if I have any now. My relationships while drinking were with other alkies and I'm no longer in contact with most of them. I distanced myself from anyone who would encourage me to drink. Some of my friends drink and my best friend is an alcoholic, but they all respect my sobriety.
10)What aided you in being in denial? What did you tell yourself?
I was never in denial about being alcoholic. I was in denial that I was hurting myself. I thought I was immune to any problems that other people would have. I just lowered my expectations of myself as my life grew out of control. I've heard it said that alcoholism is a disease of perception and I think that's true.
I knew I had a problem, but I couldn't fully appreciate it until I'd been sober a bit and saw how insane my life had become.
I was also in denial that I could stay sober. I thought I was hopeless. Turns out I wasn't, for which I'm eternally grateful.
My best to you.