I'm sorry for what you are dealing with. If you previously told him you wouldn't go then there is your answer. We put these boundaries in place for a reason. He hasn't called you, he hasn't asked for an attorney. Trust me....when he doesn't have one by his next court date one will be assigned. I always look at the time my son is in jail as "a respite". He's not on the streets...they'll get him medical help if he needs it...and hopefully if he's left alone long enough he'll start to consider changing things for himself. Let him walk this one alone. I always remind myself that my son's higher power can't step in to help if I'm blocking the doorway. Don't know where I originally heard that....but it snaps me back to reality in a hurry. If nothing changes....nothing changes. Be the change. You can do this.