JKB, I used to say my ex was like Jeckel and Hyde. He could be loving but in the flip of a switch become mean, nasty and abusive. I blamed the alcohol as the more he drank, the worse he became. He'd claim to have no memory of abusing me at times, but other times, recall what he did... He is also a severe type 2 diabetic. So it was easy for me to say it wasn't him... it was his disease... it was me... etc... Can I ask, do you ever feel guilt, responsible, etc?