I think they go into 'protect and withdraw mode.' He doesn't like it - because he loves you, but if he's anything like mine was, he's not going to do anything about fixing it either.
In their mind, they don't have a problem - they deserve it - it doesn't affect anything. All while at the same time knowing it's driving you away, it affects other things in their lives, and they feel like $h!t when they don't have it.
Somehow - they can't (and won't) connect the negatives to their alcoholism. Maddening.
Get yourself some R&R. People always say "deep breaths - inhale through your nose while counting to 6, and out through your mouth while counting to 6." I never understood this til now - it friggin works. (((HUGS)))