Welcome. It is quite common, for women especially, to look to "self focused" remedy in dealing with life. It sounds like you suffered violations on both yourself and your soul. You cannot find blame in yourself when violated as a child...ya just can't. Forgiving someone is one thing. It is not letting their WRONG action dictate your journey. It does not include allowing them further access to you to harm you again. Self love is not allowing harm to come to yourself anymore. You cannot excuse people's behaviour for them and allow them continuing access to you.