I did not follow through in the past and now I plan to do it right, because I can't live being angry all the time. What is the most difficult is "keeping up the appearances". Living with someone you are angry at, resentful of is soooo draining.
I can tell you I understand this
so very much.
These angry and resentful feelings have affected me
physically.
Stress will wear you out and make you feel a little "crazy".
Start taking care of you, I started to know I was feeling better when I started breathing,
instead of short, shallow breaths (always ready for something to happen),
I actually paid attention and counted.
Breathe in and out and start with you.
Yes, your kids know, I have been where they are.
I hope you can have an honest age appropriate discussion with them soon.
Do you have a counselor? Go to AlAnon?
Please get some support for you, someone you can talk to face to face.
It is tough to be married an alcoholic in denial (one of the understatements of the year!).
At AlAnon, they will understand what you are going through, and the friendships are
amazing.
You can do this, life will get better. Much better.
Beth