Thank you all so much for understanding and encouragement. I don't feel so alone here. You all seem to have been in my shoes, feeling unloved and rejected. I am still just trying to tie up loose ends with finances and such. His sons belongings are still here, but he plans on getting them this weekend. His oldest son is moving in with a family member because he refuses to live with his father now. He stays here with me sometimes. I feel so bad for him. This was apparently the only stable home he ever had and his dad just drank it all away. On the bright side, I found a friend who needs to save for a house and is gonna move in with me to help with finances till I get back on my feet. So, its a win, win thing and it makes it impossible for me to get weak and take him back. Its been five days since I have had any contact with him and I have made it through the last two with no crying. I know that given time his face will fade from my memory and I will be okay. Everyday gets easier.