Hi there hope :-)
Originally Posted by hope2bhappy
... I'm thinking that each of us, to some extent, should also accept responsibility for those we have emotionally or physically involved in our lives....
I agree completely. A fundamental part of recovery is to follow thru on all our responsibilities, as well as make ammends for all the damage we did in our past. The word "sobriety" implies worlds more than just not drinking. Those who are simply not drinking but continue do behave irresponsibly are refered to as "dry drunks".
When I say that it is up to the individual what they want to do with their lives I mean that everybody is responsible for their own lives and the consequences of that life. If an alcoholic chooses to have an affair then that alcoholic is responsible for that choice and should face the consequences.
Originally Posted by hope2bhappy
... I had deluded myself into believing how much better my marriage could be if only my husband was sober.
I understand. We all do that. With all due respect to your husband, his behavior is not what we call "sober" over here. That's a "dry drunk".
Originally Posted by hope2bhappy
... I'd had a revelation (or an awakening), so I wrote about it...
An important one, to be sure. I too have fantasies of what my life would be like if my wife were to quit having affairs, quit her irresponsible behavior. It is those fantasies that kept me in this marriage far longer than I should have.
I don't know about your husband, but you sound to me like you're doing just fine in _your_ recovery :-)
Whadya think?
Mike :-)