Lulu, re: being angry at my AH for driving drunk, I was and still am angry; I've been at the angry stage for way too long; and sad, and hurt....it's the getting over that and doing something about that is difficult. I've given ultimatums in the past, and as Recovering2 said, I have to follow through. I did not follow through in the past and now I plan to do it right, because I can't live being angry all the time. What is the most difficult is "keeping up the appearances". Living with someone you are angry at, resentlful of is soooo draining.